Nothing prepared me to experience life more than my failed lifelong ideas of the perfect life I thought I was supposed to have when I grow up when I was younger. It’s not the right path for everyone but it worked for me, and it worked exceptionally well given the circumstances. I don’t have almost nothing but that’s not the endgame. I can see it clearly these days. I am glad. I feel free. I found myself. I feel unfit with this world but I found myself. There’s lots of confidence and comfort to be gained in finding the inner truths and workings of life. Of LIFE. Not the life you’re being told to live – to follow. The LIFE itself. The uncountable whys and hows of being here in the now. Perhaps that’s just my deluding myself to keep things in order. I don’t know for sure. How can I? Who do you think I am? God?
Learn to take out the best out of the worst.
- When you’re in it you’re in it
– What’s that supposed to mean?
– That you haven’t been in it yet
Recently I bought new rollerblades. The idea came at random, a bizarre coincidence I guess it was. I took them for a spin tonight. Haven’t had so much fun while sober and not doing nerdy things for a few good years now. Life is such a random thing but it’s hard to remember when trapped in the box of life goals and routines. Stick your head out and pay attention.
In the last scene of the True Detective 1 Rust says that once there was only darkness and now the light is winning. There’s an interesting interpretation of that scene in the idea of one’s true passion in a life that’s otherwise a sequence of physiological events.
Whatever happens in a life of a man, there’s that brief moment every once in a while when he’s satisfied when his passion lets him in deeper and deeper.
There’s some comfort in that no matter what happens in life, that one thing you love the most loves you back every once in a while in a pure satisfactory way that nothing else quite compares to.
Even if you cannot put a price on that relationship it gives some deeper meaning to everything, whatever that’s worth, and makes things interesting in the most bizzare of ways.